A Confession

Today I have decided to renounce cynicism.

I hadn't realized that I had become cynical. I just felt that I was a realist. Realists are afraid of believing in anything. And that is my problem. I have stopped believing in anything.

Cynicism is like a murky poison. A single drop can infuse and destroy even the most crystalline of waters. Diluting it to the point where it ceases to be toxic can often take tens if not hundreds of liters of fresh water. And after several drops or in the case of the cynic, a steady flow, the poison has pretty much overwhelmed the fresh and the stream is not fit for consumption.

This would be the state of my soul. The poisons of disappointments and dissolution have been coursing through my veins. And I have stopped believing in good. I have stopped believing in anything.

At first the cynic will find plenty of company. There are many others who have tasted the bitterness of its poison. We share in it like we would a fine wine. We know the date, the maker, and the worth of our poison. We compare notes and trade glasses to drink from one another.

But like any poison, it eventually will vanquish the life of the taker. And so the cynic finds that if they are left alive, they are usually left alone. The healthy will not partake of the drink, and so the cynic begins to drink alone. And it is here that the cynic drinks deep.

We often scoff at the optimist. "What a fool!" "How nice it must be to be so blissfully unaware." "They are not living in reality"....but then again neither am I. A poisoned soul isn't reality. And it isn't from God.

We all drink because we thirst. And each of us are given a choice of what we imbibe. "If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water."

Cynicism is cheap and has a never ending supply. But the difference between the healthy and the dying is whether or not you choose to partake. And I for one have made the choice not to drink the Kool-Aide